[fic] Tension ("In Between" series)
Mar. 28th, 2012 10:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
danakateFandom: NCIS: LA
Title: Tension
Pairing: G Callen/Nell Jones
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Post 02x09 - Absolution
Word Count: ~4100
Disclaimer: These characters belong to CBS, Paramount, et al. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: A post-episode moment. Part of the "In Between" series. The "In Between" series is intended to take place in between the scenes (which includes immediately before/after an episode) of every episode of NCIS: LA since 02x04 - Special Delivery, when Nell Jones is first introduced. Covers season 2.
Also available on FFN, LJ, and AO3.
Note: I was hoping to get more chapters out a little quicker but that didn’t quite work out with this one. This piece is longer than the rest, too, and gave me quite a few issues--it seemed to take a life of its own and all my planning kind of went out the window. An infinite number of thanks to vegarin for helping me through them!
~~~~~
Callen gives Hetty one last glance before heading back to the bullpen to collect his teammates. He still doesn’t feel right leaving her alone, and not just because Mattias had tried to shoot her. He can’t claim to know Hetty extremely well--no one does--but even he can tell this case is causing her some level of distress.
“Hetty has plans, so we won’t be the Magnificent Seven after all,” he announces. “We all ready?”
“I, uh, I think I’m gonna stay here,” Eric replies, not quite looking him in the eye. “I have a few things I want to check up on.”
Callen nods as he grabs his jacket. He’s known Eric long enough to be aware of the fact that he sometimes doesn’t like to be social, especially after that incident with Abby. “The Furious Five, then.”
Deeks frowns in disappointment. “Oh, come on, we’re all going.”
Eric smiles, a little too brightly. “Maybe next time.”
“Have a good night, Eric,” Sam says, giving the young tech a hearty pat on the back, making him stumble.
“At least this means we can take one car,” Callen remarks. “It’ll be a little cozy, but we’ll fit.”
“Since you’re the only designated driver, that works out, G.”
They file out of the building and Callen’s amused to see Nell animatedly talking with Kensi, leading the pack. This is the first time the analyst has been invited out with the agents and it’ll be interesting to see what happens to the group dynamics with another woman amongst them.
They take the Mercedes since it’s a little roomier. With Kensi calling shotgun, that leaves Deeks and Sam to sit in the back with Nell and they definitely wouldn’t have fit in the Aston Martin.
“Everyone buckled up back there?” Callen asks, adjusting the rear-view mirror and catching Nell’s eye. She’d ended up in the middle.
“Uh, not quite,” she answers. “I, um, well. I can’t find the seat belt, much less buckle it, without digging into some squishy bits.”
Almost in unison, Deeks and Sam unbuckle themselves and step out of the car. Kensi twists in her seat to look at Nell and engages in some distinctly un-Kensi-like giggling.
It’ll definitely be an interesting night.
“Okay, I’m all ready,” Nell announces.
Sam and Deeks get back in the car and there’s an awkward pause when they try to re-buckle up.
“Wait, how did we do this in the first place without touching your squishy bits?” Deeks asks.
Silence falls over the car.
“Why does that sound so much worse coming out of my mouth?”
All of them start chuckling. Shaking his head, Callen watches as Deeks and Sam contort before buckling up, both of them avoiding a potential sexual harassment situation.
“This definitely wasn’t in the compliance training,” Nell mutters.
Callen and the other agents groan.
“What compliance training?” Deeks asks.
“You don’t want to know,” Callen answers, starting the car and backing out of the facility now that everyone is secured.
“No, really. I want to know.”
“NCIS employees all have to go through various kinds of compliance training,” Sam explains. “Sexual harassment is one of them. There’s usually some awful dramatization, lecture, and then a quiz.”
“It wouldn’t be so bad if the dramatizations weren’t so terrible,” Nell adds. “I mean, most of it is common sense, but like my father says, ‘Sometimes common sense just isn’t so common’.”
“Yeah, it’s partly CYA and partly making sure the issue is addressed,” Sam interjects. “We joke about it, but unfortunately sometimes people do go too far.”
“Huh. I think LAPD has a similar kind of thing, but being undercover so much usually means I miss a lot of the team bonding fun like that.” Deeks pauses for a moment. “You’d tell me if I was crossing a line, right Kensi?”
Callen speaks before Kensi can answer. “Nah, she’d just kick you in the nom de plumes.”
“Ouch, that’s cold, Callen.”
“Am I wrong?” Callen looks to Kensi for an answer, but she turns away and starts nibbling on her thumb.
“Oh, come on, Kensi. Please. Tell me you wouldn’t,” Deeks pleads. “I will give you my weapon and you can pistol whip me with it just...no field goal practice with my junk, okay? Please?”
Laughter erupts from the team again and Callen is still grinning by the time they pull into the bar parking lot.
It’s busy for a weekday night but that’s not necessarily a bad thing; they can lose themselves in the throng of people if they need. As they enter the building, he automatically assess the crowd, catalogs the exits, and takes in the overall atmosphere of the place, checking for negative undercurrents. It’s second nature and he sees Sam, Kensi, and Deeks do the same.
Callen immediately looks to Nell and is surprised at the expression on her face. She’s very clearly analyzing the people and the room. It makes complete sense, given what she does for a living, but she’s not an agent, so her methods are different. It’s somehow comforting, knowing she has good instincts.
They’re able to find a curved booth near the back where it’s a little quieter so they don’t have to yell to hear each other. Callen ends up in the middle with Nell and Sam to his right and Kensi and Deeks to his left.
Drinks are ordered and after about half an hour, conversation flows more freely as they all start to relax just a bit. Callen sips his water and leans back, surveying the group. He finds he’s not scanning the crowd as often, looking for some unknown, likely non-existent threat. Sam’s even slouching a little, smiling freely as he regales the table with his latest tales of fatherhood. (Callen’s only half listening, just to make sure the bits that involve him are accurate.)
Deeks is actually paying attention, not interjecting with wisecracks at every opportunity--a sure sign he’s unwinding and enjoying the company of their group. Kensi, too, is loosening up. Her shoulders are less rigid and she’s leaning back against the booth, angled towards Deeks, grinning at Sam’s story. Nell’s openly laughing and joking with them while looking at pictures of Sam’s kids.
“Ooh, can I see?” Kensi asks when Nell makes like she’s going to return the pictures to Sam.
“Sure.” And then Nell’s reaching across Callen’s body, holding out the pictures, showing Deeks and Kensi her favorite one.
Callen notices Sam staring at him and rolls his eyes when the other man flicks his gaze between Nell and him. “I’ve had my training,” Callen points out.
“What?” Nell looks up in question and Callen’s momentarily startled because she’s actually a lot closer than he realized. Her eyes widen when she notices she’s leaning over him and Callen can’t help but throw her a wink. Nell blushes and sits back abruptly, muttering an apology.
“You all need another round of drinks?” a waitress asks, interrupting the table.
They all look at each other, but none of them are really in the mood to get blitzed. After all, they will likely have another round of international espionage subterfuge and run-around tomorrow.
“I think we’re good,” Callen answers for them all.
“All right, then,” she responds with a nod.
As the waitress starts to move past their table, a large group heads the other way and she’s forced to flatten herself against the booth, trapped right by Sam.
“Sorry, sweetie.”
“No problem,” he replies with a polite smile. “It’s busy tonight.”
Callen’s surprised to feel Nell scoot closer to him, their hips touching. She’s clearly making room for Sam and it doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Thanks,” Sam mutters, inching over.
When the waitress leaves, Sam sits back in his original position but Nell’s still tucked against him. He doesn’t really mind, but he doesn’t have a chance to ruminate more on the feeling.
“Who’s up for darts?” Deeks suddenly announces.
“I thought that group would never leave,” Kensi exclaims. She makes shooing motions at Deeks who obligingly gets out of the booth and heads to the newly freed dartboard. “Anyone else? It can’t just be me and Deeks.”
“Oh, no, not me. I suck at darts,” Nell declares.
“You up for it, G?”
Callen thinks for a moment and then shakes his head. “I’m not feeling it tonight, you go ahead.”
“You’re just sore because you lost last time,” Sam scoffs.
Which is sort of true, but Callen isn’t about to admit it. “Uh huh. I let you win,” he calls out. A bit too late, though, because Sam’s already ignoring him in favor of joining Kensi and Deeks and their grand battle of rock-paper-scissors for throwing order.
It takes him several moments before he realizes Nell’s spinning her rum and coke glass around and studying the table intently. Since they’re sitting so close, he actually feels it when she pulls in a deep breath, her posture straightening. Her lips move as if she’s going to speak, but nothing happens.
“You okay?”
“Hmm? Oh. I was just-- Thanks,” she responds and then stops, shoulders drooping.
“For what?” He’s caught off guard by Nell’s sudden change in mood. They’re alone at the table and while the conversation should have been more personal, it’s as if she’s withdrawn into herself, protecting herself from something.
“For inviting me out with you guys.”
Her tone makes him believe she doesn’t think she belongs with them, that Kensi was only being nice in inviting her. Callen gives her what he hopes is an easy-going smile and nudges her shoulder playfully. “You’re a part of the team, Nell.”
“Still. You guys are field agents and I don’t remember seeing Eric go out with you guys previously.”
“Eric isn’t always in the mood for places like this.” Callen nods at the full bar. “And I get that. More often than not, I’m not, either.”
“So why do you still go?”
Callen looks down at her and searches her eyes. He wonders if he was ever that young. And then wonders whether Hetty thinks the same, looking at him. “Because sometimes it’s better to bury the day with friends than it is to think about it in solitude. Besides, it really is nice to be able to unwind with people who have gone through the same thing you have. You don’t have to explain anything or speak in vague generalities.”
“That makes sense.”
“Whoo! Beat that!” Deeks’s voice carries over to them.
Deeks is doing the world’s strangest happy dance. Nell leans into him as she tries to get a better look at the dartboard without actually standing. He doesn’t realize it until it happens, but he moves his right arm to rest on the booth cushion behind her which turns him towards her. Her hair tickles his chin and he frowns slightly, surprised by how close they are. He should move away, because he really doesn’t know her that well and weren’t they just talking about possible sexual harassment situations? But there’s something oddly comforting about their proximity. They’re touching, but it’s not intimate. It’s just nice.
“Go Marty!” Nell calls out.
“Hey, whose side are you on?” Kensi tosses back.
“Sorry, Kens, us new people have to stick together,” Deeks replies, throwing an arm around her shoulders. “Trumps the girl card, every time.”
Kensi leans way out of Deeks’s reach, arching an eyebrow at him, and a look of concern briefly flashes across his face.
“Kick his ass, Kensi!” Nell yells.
“Hey!”
Kensi laughs and then expertly throws a dart that lands dead center in the bull’s eye, knocking Deeks’s dart to the floor. “Nothing trumps the girl card, Deeks.”
Deeks pouts, but Kensi playfully hip-bumps him out of the way, giving Sam his turn.
“Who do you think--” Nell abruptly stops when she turns to face him. He’s pretty sure she’s caught off guard by how close he is and, to be honest, he’s curious what she’ll do, if anything.
Callen studies her for a long moment, taking in her wide eyes, the heightened color in her cheeks, and the slight smile on her features. She stares right back at him, her expression completely open, and it makes him a little uncomfortable. Just when the silence is about to become awkward, he slowly leans back just a few inches. “What was that?”
“Um, what? Oh.” Nell’s back to studying the table. “Who do you think will win?”
Deliberately, and carefully, Callen turns back to his original position, introducing a little bit of space between them. “Hmm, it depends on how this plays out. Sam’s holding back.”
“Really?” She’s looking at him again, but she’s returned to her normal, bright disposition.
Callen nods. “He’ll play well enough to give them a challenge, but if either of them gets too cocky he’ll put them in their place.”
In the end, Deeks wins, but just barely. Kensi’s last throw hits the bull’s eye wire and bounces off the board. Deeks is at least gracious enough not to have too big of a victory dance. At least not while Kensi’s watching.
“You’re off your game tonight, big guy,” Callen says with a grin as the trio returns to the table.
“Must have pulled something climbing over the fence at Renner’s,” Sam retorts.
“Congrats, Marty.” Nell toasts him with a glass of water.
“It was all luck.” Deeks is downplaying his win but Callen can tell the man is pleased. And, judging by the look on Kensi’s face, she’s not at all upset at the loss.
“We ready to go?” Callen asks, checking his watch.
Nods and sounds of assent echo around the table.
“I’ll go settle the bill,” Deeks says. “Meet you guys out front.”
As they make their way out of the bar, Callen doesn’t notice how closely he’s following Nell until she suddenly stops to avoid a clearly drunk patron and he runs right into her. His hand shoots out to brace against the wall and he’s kind of curled around her. His other hand lands on her shoulder to stop his momentum. He feels her freeze and he wonders if he should make a comment about compliance training. Callen’s surprised when she relaxes and he can feel her actually lean into him just a tiny bit. Maybe.
“You’re the one that didn’t drink, G, you shouldn’t be the one stumbling,” Sam remarks from behind him, breaking his train of thought.
He turns his head to reply. “Unexpected drunk person crossing.”
Nell leans around him and adds, “This is their natural habitat, after all.”
The path clears and they continue their trek to the exit. The cool night air is refreshing, though he can see Nell shiver. “Cold?”
“Definitely colder than in there,” she replies, rubbing her hands up and down her arms.
“Want my jacket?” Kensi offers.
“No, I’ll be okay,” Nell assures, but she’s still visibly shivering.
Callen and Sam exchange a look. Without another thought, Callen removes his jacket and drapes it around Nell’s shoulders.
“Um, thanks,” she says.
“No problem,” Callen answers. He picks up a corner of the jacket and fishes out the car keys. “I’ll go get the car.”
“I’ll come with you, G.”
Sam falls into step beside Callen and the partners don’t say anything for several steps.
“You still worried about Hetty?” Sam asks.
They’ve been partners long enough that Callen shouldn’t be surprised when Sam picks up on his moods and the reasons for them, but he always is. “She’s being cagier than usual.”
“I didn’t think that was possible.”
“You and me both, buddy.” Silence falls between them again. “Did you let them win?”
Sam scoffs. “Not really. Deeks is actually pretty good.”
Callen nods in agreement. “He is. On a lot of things.”
By the time they pull up to the front of the bar, Deeks has joined their group and everyone scrambles into the car. This time, since Sam is in the front passenger seat, Kensi and Nell make Deeks sit in the middle.
“I hate sitting in the middle,” Deeks mutters.
“I always get the middle,” Nell counters.
Kensi jabs Deeks with her seat belt buckle.
“Ow, you just poked me in a squishy bit, Kens! That’s harassment!”
“Please, you’re such a baby.”
“This is no laughing matter, Kensi. In fact-- Ow!”
Nell’s giggling makes Callen and Sam exchange another look, this one amused. Callen can’t help but grin as Sam rolls his eyes.
“Don’t make me come back there,” Sam warns.
“Nell just poked me!”
“I don’t care,” Sam answers in a tone Callen can only describe as his “diplomatic father” tone.
“This is why I hate sitting in the middle,” Deeks grumbles.
Callen sighs. “Do you think Hetty ever feels this way about us?”
Kensi suddenly flips her head from side to side, whipping Deeks in the face with her hair.
“What was that for?” Deeks whines, spluttering and swiping at strands of Kensi’s hair on his face.
“I swear I expected her to pop up and say something like, ‘Everyday, Mr. Callen,’” she replies.
Callen barks out a laugh and the rest of them follow suit.
“How does she do that? I mean seriously, she just shows up out of nowhere sometimes,” Deeks muses.
Speculation about Hetty’s ninja-like abilities abound as Callen mentally determines the most efficient drop-off route while not exposing them to possible compromise. One by one, team members leave the car until it’s just him and Nell. She moves up front after Sam leaves.
There’s no conversation between them for several blocks.
“I’m worried about Hetty,” Nell blurts out.
Callen casts her a sidelong glance. “I am, too.”
Nell sighs. “I mean, you guys have known her longer, but she’s given me so many great opportunities since I’ve been here and--I just don’t like seeing her like this. It’s not right.”
“I agree, but getting her to let us help her is like pulling teeth.” Callen drums his fingers on the steering wheel. “She said something today that bothered me.”
“What?”
“She basically admitted that she was deliberately trying to keep us all at arm’s length.”
“So, she doesn’t want our help?”
Callen shakes his head, but it isn’t an answer. “She also said that because we wouldn’t let her keep us away she wasn’t in this fight alone, but sometimes I wonder.”
“You think she’s going to get into more situations like today where she’s in danger but none of us know where she is?”
“Yup.”
Nell shifts in the passenger seat and he can feel her eyes on him. He turns to look at her for a moment and he’s pinned by the intensity of her gaze.
“We’ll just have to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
Callen’s lips quirk at her conviction and determination. He turns his eyes back to the road and nods. “Yes, we will.”
The rest of the drive to Nell’s apartment is conducted in silence, but it isn’t uncomfortable. They’re both absorbed in their own thoughts. As he pulls up to the curb, Nell shrugs out of his jacket and folds it over her arm.
“Thanks for the ride and the jacket,” she says, smiling at him when the car comes to a stop. “And the good time.”
“Anytime, Nell,” Callen answers, taking the jacket from her as she gets out of the car. He waits until she disappears from his sight before heading home.
Callen’s thoughts are spinning for the entire drive--to Hetty and what might have happened if they hadn’t been able to track her down today. To how she seemed resigned to have Mattias shoot her--wanted it, even. It’s easy to draw parallels between her and Cole’s desire for Hetty to finish what she started. Hetty’s been in the intelligence community a long time. She’s seen and done so many things, it shouldn’t, can’t, be a surprise that she might be more than a little tired of it. And yet he is.
His thoughts then turn to one nearly always bright-eyed intelligence analyst. Callen smiles to himself as he pulls into his neighborhood. He’s glad they invited Nell out with them. She’s become an integral part of their team. Not only does she provide Eric with some much needed support, but she also has her own skill set that seems to mesh well with OSP. She’s meticulous and tenacious; Callen has no doubt Nell will go far in their world.
Idly, Callen wonders if, years down the line, Nell will face choices that will ultimately put her on the same path Hetty took many years ago. He can easily see it and it’s a little fascinating thinking he might be witnessing a Hetty Lange in the making. At the same time, if Nell is on the path to a highly successful intelligence career, he hopes she won’t take the opportunity. He can’t imagine a Nell with Hetty’s experience and the cynicism that comes with years of subterfuge and deception, not to mention the solitude. Logically he knows she’ll reach a point where she knows more than she ever wanted to--he’s seen glimpses of it already, given the nature of their work--but he hopes, for her sake, the turning point doesn’t come for many, many years.
Shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts, Callen tries to relax. Going out with the team had been a good idea and while he’d enjoyed himself, his brain was still working overtime, which will most likely lead to getting even less sleep than normal.
Entering the house, he strolls into the kitchen and tosses his keys on the counter. He starts to think about the pitfalls of the work they do. Intelligence, especially when it involves the high stakes of national--and sometimes global--security, is a lonely job. Information is both valuable and deadly; trust is a rare commodity. Those qualities aren’t great for relationships, romantic or otherwise.
Callen chooses to be alone personally. He imagines Hetty made the same choice many years ago. Sam was able to find the time to have a family, but he knows his partner isn’t happy juggling the dual duty of patriot and husband/father. Kensi thinks she doesn’t need anyone, but he’s glad she’s partnered with Deeks for those rare times when she does--whether she admits to it or not. Even Eric has a coping mechanism in the form of an extensive group of online friends as well as surfer buddies.
Callen thought Nell would be like Eric. They both have a similar, technology-heavy background, but it didn’t take long for Nell to establish her own personality. NCIS found her due to her ability to gather and analyze data into meaningful patterns and conclusions. But unlike Eric, she’s more hands-on, she doesn’t always prefer to find information electronically and remotely. The times she’s gone in the field with them, she was eager and enthusiastic, unafraid of digging into the heart of things to get what she needed. Just like a certain Operations Manager.
But they’re all still very invested in the job and this case has revealed the kind of co-dependent relationship that forms when one is in the business long enough. He’s convinced that’s the reason why, on more than one occasion, Hetty has booted them out of the building and encouraged them to “get a life.” No doubt she’s had many opportunities to reflect upon her choices and she’s telling them they shouldn’t model their lives after her. Callen gets that and he’s even gotten the same lecture from Gibbs. But it isn’t just the job that makes him wary. He’s experienced too much turmoil and uncertainty in his life that despite the wishes of others, he doesn’t really know what it means to “settle down,” isn’t sure if he really wants to or if he can.
Callen wanders into his living room and settles into the chair, closing his eyes in an attempt to rest, though he knows he won’t. His thoughts turn once more to Nell. She seemed genuinely surprised when Kensi invited her out with them and disbelieving when he told her she was part of the team. He makes a mental note to encourage Kensi to engage Nell outside of work, possibly even involve Eric and Deeks. Hell, maybe he’ll even purposefully suggest some more group outings though it’s not really his thing. Nell’s just starting out; there’s no reason she should get cornered into the solitary lifestyle they’ve all fallen into and if he can do anything, even something small, to make the lifestyle easier, it’s probably worth it.
Callen doesn’t even consider the fact that maybe he just likes her company.
~~~~~
End Part
Episode summary
First part of a two parter. Old-school Cold War era spying! This is the episode we find out about Hetty’s “husband”. Sebastian Renner is killed. He supposedly had a little black book of spy secrets given to him by Bernstrom Kohl aka Branston Cole after smuggling Cole into the country. International intelligence agents start swarming the city looking for it. Cole is at a nursing him and Hetty poses as his wife to try to get information, but it’s clear there’s a very complicated emotional attachment between them, mostly for her. Things that happen: Kensi kicks a dude in the nuts. Nell and Eric figure out the microdots. Mattias, another German spy, shows up and is about to shoot Hetty when Sam shoots Mattias in the arm. This is the first time Nell’s invited out for drinks with the team (Kensi doesn’t want to be the only woman). Hetty goes back to the nursing home and Cole has been killed, as well as a security guard and a nurse. TBC.
Title: Tension
Pairing: G Callen/Nell Jones
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Post 02x09 - Absolution
Word Count: ~4100
Disclaimer: These characters belong to CBS, Paramount, et al. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: A post-episode moment. Part of the "In Between" series. The "In Between" series is intended to take place in between the scenes (which includes immediately before/after an episode) of every episode of NCIS: LA since 02x04 - Special Delivery, when Nell Jones is first introduced. Covers season 2.
Also available on FFN, LJ, and AO3.
Note: I was hoping to get more chapters out a little quicker but that didn’t quite work out with this one. This piece is longer than the rest, too, and gave me quite a few issues--it seemed to take a life of its own and all my planning kind of went out the window. An infinite number of thanks to vegarin for helping me through them!
~~~~~
Callen gives Hetty one last glance before heading back to the bullpen to collect his teammates. He still doesn’t feel right leaving her alone, and not just because Mattias had tried to shoot her. He can’t claim to know Hetty extremely well--no one does--but even he can tell this case is causing her some level of distress.
“Hetty has plans, so we won’t be the Magnificent Seven after all,” he announces. “We all ready?”
“I, uh, I think I’m gonna stay here,” Eric replies, not quite looking him in the eye. “I have a few things I want to check up on.”
Callen nods as he grabs his jacket. He’s known Eric long enough to be aware of the fact that he sometimes doesn’t like to be social, especially after that incident with Abby. “The Furious Five, then.”
Deeks frowns in disappointment. “Oh, come on, we’re all going.”
Eric smiles, a little too brightly. “Maybe next time.”
“Have a good night, Eric,” Sam says, giving the young tech a hearty pat on the back, making him stumble.
“At least this means we can take one car,” Callen remarks. “It’ll be a little cozy, but we’ll fit.”
“Since you’re the only designated driver, that works out, G.”
They file out of the building and Callen’s amused to see Nell animatedly talking with Kensi, leading the pack. This is the first time the analyst has been invited out with the agents and it’ll be interesting to see what happens to the group dynamics with another woman amongst them.
They take the Mercedes since it’s a little roomier. With Kensi calling shotgun, that leaves Deeks and Sam to sit in the back with Nell and they definitely wouldn’t have fit in the Aston Martin.
“Everyone buckled up back there?” Callen asks, adjusting the rear-view mirror and catching Nell’s eye. She’d ended up in the middle.
“Uh, not quite,” she answers. “I, um, well. I can’t find the seat belt, much less buckle it, without digging into some squishy bits.”
Almost in unison, Deeks and Sam unbuckle themselves and step out of the car. Kensi twists in her seat to look at Nell and engages in some distinctly un-Kensi-like giggling.
It’ll definitely be an interesting night.
“Okay, I’m all ready,” Nell announces.
Sam and Deeks get back in the car and there’s an awkward pause when they try to re-buckle up.
“Wait, how did we do this in the first place without touching your squishy bits?” Deeks asks.
Silence falls over the car.
“Why does that sound so much worse coming out of my mouth?”
All of them start chuckling. Shaking his head, Callen watches as Deeks and Sam contort before buckling up, both of them avoiding a potential sexual harassment situation.
“This definitely wasn’t in the compliance training,” Nell mutters.
Callen and the other agents groan.
“What compliance training?” Deeks asks.
“You don’t want to know,” Callen answers, starting the car and backing out of the facility now that everyone is secured.
“No, really. I want to know.”
“NCIS employees all have to go through various kinds of compliance training,” Sam explains. “Sexual harassment is one of them. There’s usually some awful dramatization, lecture, and then a quiz.”
“It wouldn’t be so bad if the dramatizations weren’t so terrible,” Nell adds. “I mean, most of it is common sense, but like my father says, ‘Sometimes common sense just isn’t so common’.”
“Yeah, it’s partly CYA and partly making sure the issue is addressed,” Sam interjects. “We joke about it, but unfortunately sometimes people do go too far.”
“Huh. I think LAPD has a similar kind of thing, but being undercover so much usually means I miss a lot of the team bonding fun like that.” Deeks pauses for a moment. “You’d tell me if I was crossing a line, right Kensi?”
Callen speaks before Kensi can answer. “Nah, she’d just kick you in the nom de plumes.”
“Ouch, that’s cold, Callen.”
“Am I wrong?” Callen looks to Kensi for an answer, but she turns away and starts nibbling on her thumb.
“Oh, come on, Kensi. Please. Tell me you wouldn’t,” Deeks pleads. “I will give you my weapon and you can pistol whip me with it just...no field goal practice with my junk, okay? Please?”
Laughter erupts from the team again and Callen is still grinning by the time they pull into the bar parking lot.
It’s busy for a weekday night but that’s not necessarily a bad thing; they can lose themselves in the throng of people if they need. As they enter the building, he automatically assess the crowd, catalogs the exits, and takes in the overall atmosphere of the place, checking for negative undercurrents. It’s second nature and he sees Sam, Kensi, and Deeks do the same.
Callen immediately looks to Nell and is surprised at the expression on her face. She’s very clearly analyzing the people and the room. It makes complete sense, given what she does for a living, but she’s not an agent, so her methods are different. It’s somehow comforting, knowing she has good instincts.
They’re able to find a curved booth near the back where it’s a little quieter so they don’t have to yell to hear each other. Callen ends up in the middle with Nell and Sam to his right and Kensi and Deeks to his left.
Drinks are ordered and after about half an hour, conversation flows more freely as they all start to relax just a bit. Callen sips his water and leans back, surveying the group. He finds he’s not scanning the crowd as often, looking for some unknown, likely non-existent threat. Sam’s even slouching a little, smiling freely as he regales the table with his latest tales of fatherhood. (Callen’s only half listening, just to make sure the bits that involve him are accurate.)
Deeks is actually paying attention, not interjecting with wisecracks at every opportunity--a sure sign he’s unwinding and enjoying the company of their group. Kensi, too, is loosening up. Her shoulders are less rigid and she’s leaning back against the booth, angled towards Deeks, grinning at Sam’s story. Nell’s openly laughing and joking with them while looking at pictures of Sam’s kids.
“Ooh, can I see?” Kensi asks when Nell makes like she’s going to return the pictures to Sam.
“Sure.” And then Nell’s reaching across Callen’s body, holding out the pictures, showing Deeks and Kensi her favorite one.
Callen notices Sam staring at him and rolls his eyes when the other man flicks his gaze between Nell and him. “I’ve had my training,” Callen points out.
“What?” Nell looks up in question and Callen’s momentarily startled because she’s actually a lot closer than he realized. Her eyes widen when she notices she’s leaning over him and Callen can’t help but throw her a wink. Nell blushes and sits back abruptly, muttering an apology.
“You all need another round of drinks?” a waitress asks, interrupting the table.
They all look at each other, but none of them are really in the mood to get blitzed. After all, they will likely have another round of international espionage subterfuge and run-around tomorrow.
“I think we’re good,” Callen answers for them all.
“All right, then,” she responds with a nod.
As the waitress starts to move past their table, a large group heads the other way and she’s forced to flatten herself against the booth, trapped right by Sam.
“Sorry, sweetie.”
“No problem,” he replies with a polite smile. “It’s busy tonight.”
Callen’s surprised to feel Nell scoot closer to him, their hips touching. She’s clearly making room for Sam and it doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Thanks,” Sam mutters, inching over.
When the waitress leaves, Sam sits back in his original position but Nell’s still tucked against him. He doesn’t really mind, but he doesn’t have a chance to ruminate more on the feeling.
“Who’s up for darts?” Deeks suddenly announces.
“I thought that group would never leave,” Kensi exclaims. She makes shooing motions at Deeks who obligingly gets out of the booth and heads to the newly freed dartboard. “Anyone else? It can’t just be me and Deeks.”
“Oh, no, not me. I suck at darts,” Nell declares.
“You up for it, G?”
Callen thinks for a moment and then shakes his head. “I’m not feeling it tonight, you go ahead.”
“You’re just sore because you lost last time,” Sam scoffs.
Which is sort of true, but Callen isn’t about to admit it. “Uh huh. I let you win,” he calls out. A bit too late, though, because Sam’s already ignoring him in favor of joining Kensi and Deeks and their grand battle of rock-paper-scissors for throwing order.
It takes him several moments before he realizes Nell’s spinning her rum and coke glass around and studying the table intently. Since they’re sitting so close, he actually feels it when she pulls in a deep breath, her posture straightening. Her lips move as if she’s going to speak, but nothing happens.
“You okay?”
“Hmm? Oh. I was just-- Thanks,” she responds and then stops, shoulders drooping.
“For what?” He’s caught off guard by Nell’s sudden change in mood. They’re alone at the table and while the conversation should have been more personal, it’s as if she’s withdrawn into herself, protecting herself from something.
“For inviting me out with you guys.”
Her tone makes him believe she doesn’t think she belongs with them, that Kensi was only being nice in inviting her. Callen gives her what he hopes is an easy-going smile and nudges her shoulder playfully. “You’re a part of the team, Nell.”
“Still. You guys are field agents and I don’t remember seeing Eric go out with you guys previously.”
“Eric isn’t always in the mood for places like this.” Callen nods at the full bar. “And I get that. More often than not, I’m not, either.”
“So why do you still go?”
Callen looks down at her and searches her eyes. He wonders if he was ever that young. And then wonders whether Hetty thinks the same, looking at him. “Because sometimes it’s better to bury the day with friends than it is to think about it in solitude. Besides, it really is nice to be able to unwind with people who have gone through the same thing you have. You don’t have to explain anything or speak in vague generalities.”
“That makes sense.”
“Whoo! Beat that!” Deeks’s voice carries over to them.
Deeks is doing the world’s strangest happy dance. Nell leans into him as she tries to get a better look at the dartboard without actually standing. He doesn’t realize it until it happens, but he moves his right arm to rest on the booth cushion behind her which turns him towards her. Her hair tickles his chin and he frowns slightly, surprised by how close they are. He should move away, because he really doesn’t know her that well and weren’t they just talking about possible sexual harassment situations? But there’s something oddly comforting about their proximity. They’re touching, but it’s not intimate. It’s just nice.
“Go Marty!” Nell calls out.
“Hey, whose side are you on?” Kensi tosses back.
“Sorry, Kens, us new people have to stick together,” Deeks replies, throwing an arm around her shoulders. “Trumps the girl card, every time.”
Kensi leans way out of Deeks’s reach, arching an eyebrow at him, and a look of concern briefly flashes across his face.
“Kick his ass, Kensi!” Nell yells.
“Hey!”
Kensi laughs and then expertly throws a dart that lands dead center in the bull’s eye, knocking Deeks’s dart to the floor. “Nothing trumps the girl card, Deeks.”
Deeks pouts, but Kensi playfully hip-bumps him out of the way, giving Sam his turn.
“Who do you think--” Nell abruptly stops when she turns to face him. He’s pretty sure she’s caught off guard by how close he is and, to be honest, he’s curious what she’ll do, if anything.
Callen studies her for a long moment, taking in her wide eyes, the heightened color in her cheeks, and the slight smile on her features. She stares right back at him, her expression completely open, and it makes him a little uncomfortable. Just when the silence is about to become awkward, he slowly leans back just a few inches. “What was that?”
“Um, what? Oh.” Nell’s back to studying the table. “Who do you think will win?”
Deliberately, and carefully, Callen turns back to his original position, introducing a little bit of space between them. “Hmm, it depends on how this plays out. Sam’s holding back.”
“Really?” She’s looking at him again, but she’s returned to her normal, bright disposition.
Callen nods. “He’ll play well enough to give them a challenge, but if either of them gets too cocky he’ll put them in their place.”
In the end, Deeks wins, but just barely. Kensi’s last throw hits the bull’s eye wire and bounces off the board. Deeks is at least gracious enough not to have too big of a victory dance. At least not while Kensi’s watching.
“You’re off your game tonight, big guy,” Callen says with a grin as the trio returns to the table.
“Must have pulled something climbing over the fence at Renner’s,” Sam retorts.
“Congrats, Marty.” Nell toasts him with a glass of water.
“It was all luck.” Deeks is downplaying his win but Callen can tell the man is pleased. And, judging by the look on Kensi’s face, she’s not at all upset at the loss.
“We ready to go?” Callen asks, checking his watch.
Nods and sounds of assent echo around the table.
“I’ll go settle the bill,” Deeks says. “Meet you guys out front.”
As they make their way out of the bar, Callen doesn’t notice how closely he’s following Nell until she suddenly stops to avoid a clearly drunk patron and he runs right into her. His hand shoots out to brace against the wall and he’s kind of curled around her. His other hand lands on her shoulder to stop his momentum. He feels her freeze and he wonders if he should make a comment about compliance training. Callen’s surprised when she relaxes and he can feel her actually lean into him just a tiny bit. Maybe.
“You’re the one that didn’t drink, G, you shouldn’t be the one stumbling,” Sam remarks from behind him, breaking his train of thought.
He turns his head to reply. “Unexpected drunk person crossing.”
Nell leans around him and adds, “This is their natural habitat, after all.”
The path clears and they continue their trek to the exit. The cool night air is refreshing, though he can see Nell shiver. “Cold?”
“Definitely colder than in there,” she replies, rubbing her hands up and down her arms.
“Want my jacket?” Kensi offers.
“No, I’ll be okay,” Nell assures, but she’s still visibly shivering.
Callen and Sam exchange a look. Without another thought, Callen removes his jacket and drapes it around Nell’s shoulders.
“Um, thanks,” she says.
“No problem,” Callen answers. He picks up a corner of the jacket and fishes out the car keys. “I’ll go get the car.”
“I’ll come with you, G.”
Sam falls into step beside Callen and the partners don’t say anything for several steps.
“You still worried about Hetty?” Sam asks.
They’ve been partners long enough that Callen shouldn’t be surprised when Sam picks up on his moods and the reasons for them, but he always is. “She’s being cagier than usual.”
“I didn’t think that was possible.”
“You and me both, buddy.” Silence falls between them again. “Did you let them win?”
Sam scoffs. “Not really. Deeks is actually pretty good.”
Callen nods in agreement. “He is. On a lot of things.”
By the time they pull up to the front of the bar, Deeks has joined their group and everyone scrambles into the car. This time, since Sam is in the front passenger seat, Kensi and Nell make Deeks sit in the middle.
“I hate sitting in the middle,” Deeks mutters.
“I always get the middle,” Nell counters.
Kensi jabs Deeks with her seat belt buckle.
“Ow, you just poked me in a squishy bit, Kens! That’s harassment!”
“Please, you’re such a baby.”
“This is no laughing matter, Kensi. In fact-- Ow!”
Nell’s giggling makes Callen and Sam exchange another look, this one amused. Callen can’t help but grin as Sam rolls his eyes.
“Don’t make me come back there,” Sam warns.
“Nell just poked me!”
“I don’t care,” Sam answers in a tone Callen can only describe as his “diplomatic father” tone.
“This is why I hate sitting in the middle,” Deeks grumbles.
Callen sighs. “Do you think Hetty ever feels this way about us?”
Kensi suddenly flips her head from side to side, whipping Deeks in the face with her hair.
“What was that for?” Deeks whines, spluttering and swiping at strands of Kensi’s hair on his face.
“I swear I expected her to pop up and say something like, ‘Everyday, Mr. Callen,’” she replies.
Callen barks out a laugh and the rest of them follow suit.
“How does she do that? I mean seriously, she just shows up out of nowhere sometimes,” Deeks muses.
Speculation about Hetty’s ninja-like abilities abound as Callen mentally determines the most efficient drop-off route while not exposing them to possible compromise. One by one, team members leave the car until it’s just him and Nell. She moves up front after Sam leaves.
There’s no conversation between them for several blocks.
“I’m worried about Hetty,” Nell blurts out.
Callen casts her a sidelong glance. “I am, too.”
Nell sighs. “I mean, you guys have known her longer, but she’s given me so many great opportunities since I’ve been here and--I just don’t like seeing her like this. It’s not right.”
“I agree, but getting her to let us help her is like pulling teeth.” Callen drums his fingers on the steering wheel. “She said something today that bothered me.”
“What?”
“She basically admitted that she was deliberately trying to keep us all at arm’s length.”
“So, she doesn’t want our help?”
Callen shakes his head, but it isn’t an answer. “She also said that because we wouldn’t let her keep us away she wasn’t in this fight alone, but sometimes I wonder.”
“You think she’s going to get into more situations like today where she’s in danger but none of us know where she is?”
“Yup.”
Nell shifts in the passenger seat and he can feel her eyes on him. He turns to look at her for a moment and he’s pinned by the intensity of her gaze.
“We’ll just have to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
Callen’s lips quirk at her conviction and determination. He turns his eyes back to the road and nods. “Yes, we will.”
The rest of the drive to Nell’s apartment is conducted in silence, but it isn’t uncomfortable. They’re both absorbed in their own thoughts. As he pulls up to the curb, Nell shrugs out of his jacket and folds it over her arm.
“Thanks for the ride and the jacket,” she says, smiling at him when the car comes to a stop. “And the good time.”
“Anytime, Nell,” Callen answers, taking the jacket from her as she gets out of the car. He waits until she disappears from his sight before heading home.
Callen’s thoughts are spinning for the entire drive--to Hetty and what might have happened if they hadn’t been able to track her down today. To how she seemed resigned to have Mattias shoot her--wanted it, even. It’s easy to draw parallels between her and Cole’s desire for Hetty to finish what she started. Hetty’s been in the intelligence community a long time. She’s seen and done so many things, it shouldn’t, can’t, be a surprise that she might be more than a little tired of it. And yet he is.
His thoughts then turn to one nearly always bright-eyed intelligence analyst. Callen smiles to himself as he pulls into his neighborhood. He’s glad they invited Nell out with them. She’s become an integral part of their team. Not only does she provide Eric with some much needed support, but she also has her own skill set that seems to mesh well with OSP. She’s meticulous and tenacious; Callen has no doubt Nell will go far in their world.
Idly, Callen wonders if, years down the line, Nell will face choices that will ultimately put her on the same path Hetty took many years ago. He can easily see it and it’s a little fascinating thinking he might be witnessing a Hetty Lange in the making. At the same time, if Nell is on the path to a highly successful intelligence career, he hopes she won’t take the opportunity. He can’t imagine a Nell with Hetty’s experience and the cynicism that comes with years of subterfuge and deception, not to mention the solitude. Logically he knows she’ll reach a point where she knows more than she ever wanted to--he’s seen glimpses of it already, given the nature of their work--but he hopes, for her sake, the turning point doesn’t come for many, many years.
Shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts, Callen tries to relax. Going out with the team had been a good idea and while he’d enjoyed himself, his brain was still working overtime, which will most likely lead to getting even less sleep than normal.
Entering the house, he strolls into the kitchen and tosses his keys on the counter. He starts to think about the pitfalls of the work they do. Intelligence, especially when it involves the high stakes of national--and sometimes global--security, is a lonely job. Information is both valuable and deadly; trust is a rare commodity. Those qualities aren’t great for relationships, romantic or otherwise.
Callen chooses to be alone personally. He imagines Hetty made the same choice many years ago. Sam was able to find the time to have a family, but he knows his partner isn’t happy juggling the dual duty of patriot and husband/father. Kensi thinks she doesn’t need anyone, but he’s glad she’s partnered with Deeks for those rare times when she does--whether she admits to it or not. Even Eric has a coping mechanism in the form of an extensive group of online friends as well as surfer buddies.
Callen thought Nell would be like Eric. They both have a similar, technology-heavy background, but it didn’t take long for Nell to establish her own personality. NCIS found her due to her ability to gather and analyze data into meaningful patterns and conclusions. But unlike Eric, she’s more hands-on, she doesn’t always prefer to find information electronically and remotely. The times she’s gone in the field with them, she was eager and enthusiastic, unafraid of digging into the heart of things to get what she needed. Just like a certain Operations Manager.
But they’re all still very invested in the job and this case has revealed the kind of co-dependent relationship that forms when one is in the business long enough. He’s convinced that’s the reason why, on more than one occasion, Hetty has booted them out of the building and encouraged them to “get a life.” No doubt she’s had many opportunities to reflect upon her choices and she’s telling them they shouldn’t model their lives after her. Callen gets that and he’s even gotten the same lecture from Gibbs. But it isn’t just the job that makes him wary. He’s experienced too much turmoil and uncertainty in his life that despite the wishes of others, he doesn’t really know what it means to “settle down,” isn’t sure if he really wants to or if he can.
Callen wanders into his living room and settles into the chair, closing his eyes in an attempt to rest, though he knows he won’t. His thoughts turn once more to Nell. She seemed genuinely surprised when Kensi invited her out with them and disbelieving when he told her she was part of the team. He makes a mental note to encourage Kensi to engage Nell outside of work, possibly even involve Eric and Deeks. Hell, maybe he’ll even purposefully suggest some more group outings though it’s not really his thing. Nell’s just starting out; there’s no reason she should get cornered into the solitary lifestyle they’ve all fallen into and if he can do anything, even something small, to make the lifestyle easier, it’s probably worth it.
Callen doesn’t even consider the fact that maybe he just likes her company.
~~~~~
End Part
Episode summary
First part of a two parter. Old-school Cold War era spying! This is the episode we find out about Hetty’s “husband”. Sebastian Renner is killed. He supposedly had a little black book of spy secrets given to him by Bernstrom Kohl aka Branston Cole after smuggling Cole into the country. International intelligence agents start swarming the city looking for it. Cole is at a nursing him and Hetty poses as his wife to try to get information, but it’s clear there’s a very complicated emotional attachment between them, mostly for her. Things that happen: Kensi kicks a dude in the nuts. Nell and Eric figure out the microdots. Mattias, another German spy, shows up and is about to shoot Hetty when Sam shoots Mattias in the arm. This is the first time Nell’s invited out for drinks with the team (Kensi doesn’t want to be the only woman). Hetty goes back to the nursing home and Cole has been killed, as well as a security guard and a nurse. TBC.
